drunken nights of a 2008 on a night named as 29–30

its very easy for someone to judge that im a good guy,
im not.
i have never been like that, its coincidence, or your foolishness,
mom, i feel your presence, i know what i are undergoing,
what should i do, what can i do,
how shall i carry this guit,
please kill me so that i escape from it,
mummy you didnt slap me,
you love me so much,
but your pain is always been haunting me,
may i love you too?
i dont know mummy, please some on kill me,
please some one,
please some,
i cant even cry
life left me alone
or did i choose to be one like that
please why the fuck did born like a human,
im sure everything i want is only wat a human wants
and not any one else,
everything is fucking bullshit,
just fucking bullshit,
i feel pain , though i have realised it,
i feel like crying though, i feel the free within,
may be, this body is not yet convunced,
may be these muscles are slave, to this mind,
may be this hear is  a slave to pumo blood the way the mind say so,
bloddy fuckign mind,
bloddy fuckig god,
the most spoken,
the losgest lived,
i really want fuck him with out a condom,
blody fucking god,
i fell like raping him,
raping , with as much pain as possible,
why the blody fuck,
hm….wat a looser am i,
what a fucked up brain is mine,
i blame some one,
when it was me,
no matter who this brain can point tooo
mom, i still being so selfish been talking about me,
where and when did i grow so selfish?
why the fuck ,
i really feel so hopeless to pray to the space to fix your dreams,
fix yor life,
though iknow its me the key to fix it,
am i thinking of me again,
fuck me mom, fuck me,
kill me,
you call me , i can understand you
why, tell me how can i carry this guilt, please tell me,
are these words of a drunking idiot?

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