dont want to move from here!

I just cant understand how simple it is to talk about death,
being me for so long time, 26 years for now, being contemplating about me, everyday, i living and the reason i say to me, is {i}, and everything is about me.
Now i feel really silly thinking about god!
how the bloody fuck, who is gets up from his bed,because {i} have to meditate or what ever fuck i want to do, every fucking thing starts from “ME”.
living so so selfishly, so much instinctively that you call me in the middle of the night, i can talk respond from or about my self, and now thinking of death, scares me to death, i think i will passout soon.
seeing myself floating in the air, where i can those fucking stars and planets, which look so good from down earth, i fucking cant convince that, my next house will be these, and i will a vagabond on these terrestrials.
Out of so much selfishness towards me, i love me so much that, i will give a blow job to GOD too, for getting a salvation, to live immortal, to be king the way i want.
…..sorry what the fuck am i talking until now?
What are these people out there on in this world talking about god, life ethics, and others stuff, where the bloody fuck im struck,

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