Wanted: A Transformative Experience

I could divide this passage into two segements
Segment (A)
I’m going through a crisis of faith – the non-religious kind.

The ‘drafts’ section of my e-mail is overflowing with links to new jobs. I’ve even been gifted a new set of paints and a sketch-book. I was advised to use my lay-off as a break, find some time to ‘unwind’, do what I feel like…. but that is the problem.

I feel stretched, uninspired even to apply, tired to read, my ears are buzzing with music that sounds no more different from set of discordant clangs.

Few words that need more attention: Crisis of Faith, Faith, Music.

Segment (B) How does one find that single transformative experience? A little tranquility, a little less panic, a little noice, some wind, some space, a burrow, freedom? Its been eons since I’ve done anything even remotely creative, carefree, happy and just me. In fact I’ve forgotten what that ever felt like.

Few words that need more attention: Transformative experience, tranquality, freedom, eons, creative, carefree, felt.

Segment (c) In two weeks I’ll be starting with a new place, a new set of bosses, a new house (not home), more brokers, bank accounts….

This is what I have been reduced to – a rag doll who hammers away at a silly machine all day with a plastic smile. And this is what I have reduced this space to — (once creative and even fun) just another scrap of digital papering to record my irrational miseries.

Few words that need more attention: rag doll, plastic smile, reduced space.

A – what is happening now? How do i feel about it?
B – How to solve it? Where do i lack? what makes me happy?
C – Reality – that which cant be avoided, art of Survival?

What is it all about A,B,C? Every human being act or/and reacts to situation for a Reason/Purpouse. if seen from the writings in the B, implies that the subjects happiness ( its a bunch of  “ifs” excuting that flag “happy” else “Sad”) is not drawn from the line of sources mentioned in B.

In this situation, i belive that all people who assume that that they are creative, dream or assume that we forever remain to be creative. ( this is an observation drawned from all those people who are good at something or other) (In this situation i want to you think of these professional sportsmens, actors…..they are not good everytime, everywhere).

Creation has a shawdow, this shawdow is none other than the Ego, some how the love that mother expressed towards their children has this “MY” “Children” and “Only My Children” i  can very well relate this feeling to it. The pride, the joy of claiming it, the joy of sharing the same feeling to others, the joy of attention, the joy of being connected to the others, the joy that is coming from the outside, is always intoxicating. probably we all should know or train ourself, how to cope with this when its not there when needed.

We all lack this versatality of ability to fake the water…… bruce lee, once said, Pour water into a cup, it becomes part of the cup. Pour it into a bottle; it becomes part of the bottle. However there is another species that has this same nature, chameleon, which at times is refered in the wrong/negative way of projection relating to human personality. but I think its best skill ever one could inherit, to be happy.

chameleon – Camaflouges ( why? Objective of it: To survive) by changing colours to its surroundings.

We dont have this. the more rigid we are the more tension is felt in us. the more stress is felt.

Somehow some where, Risk or Bill scares us all after a point. to catagories or put it up this way, the risk is indirectly proportional to the age. when we are all young we play it as “Dont care” the more we grow up, we tend to play it more safe. we hae to be very clear on this. we also feel insecure, and the mind creates a tension in an act if not convinsed enough, this also called as panic, but at times guilty, frustration also.

why do we want to achive?
what is scilence?
what is recognisation?
what is service…social/emotional/physical/economical towards the growth of humanity?
we all die, its the same death, dead in different ways, what it means to you? what is it mean to you before death? what you need to fill untill that death happens? people, money, time, health, wisdom, sex, children…and?
Are we asking the right questions? how do we know that its a right question?
what is repetion? have you got the skills of doing things repetetivly?

reflect your goals and ambitions after watching this videos:



> When we dont know how live alone, we dont have the right to be in union.

How ever or what ever i write here, i know that everyone is doing the best of their capabilities in their limitiations. hence i say you are all doing fine, Keep walking!.

at times people take a break and go to the bahamas, or other resorts, i highly recomend one , but not the bahamas but the nearest genral ward of a big hospital. you will be sure to get some great ideas there.

good luck.

as usually a hyppothetical views. and views expressed has nothing to do with the source the article taken. and i thank and wish the author the very best.

Crisis does aches….. Feel the pain and live life anyway.


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