Not In This Lifetime

how is it a feeling that you are not going to get it in this life time? and you die old feeling bad about it?

People will tell, think of what is already there and try to find happiness from it…… I say Fuck you matherchodh.

If people talk about Freedom, why not i ask what i want, do what i want, least im not hurting none, i ask to fulfill my urges, how is the urges being scrutinesed by good or bad, i could agree if my urge hurts the other, i could consider to talk to myself and said no, but how the is it bad in anyway, to claim …..my happiness.

nothing is perfect in this world, the fuker doesnt seems to be giving all of it to all. but still is this a fair trade at all? for what shall i claim salvation or his name, for what has been done to me that i bow down to him, just because he is good at some fancy gimics, i have to obay, then i would rather say fuck you.

what ever it is, its all fucked up. and see no meaning in my writings, it almost looks confused, like struck some where in the dream and awake. which world do i belong to? which state of mind is this functioning, now who am i?
fuckin hell, is some one trying to steal my idetinty, am i loosing my identity, am i becoming mad? or a saint,lol?

i love you mom, im sorry i cant  fix things for you.

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