Office Jerks – Collection

#1 The ‘I’m Always Right’ Jerk is arrogant, aggressive, egoistic and has a general its-my-way-or-the-highway, attitude
#2 The Sexist Jerk is aggressive, discriminatory and harasses people
#3 The Complain Jerk is pessimistic, tries to find faults in everything and always blames something or somebody else
#4 The Tattle Tale Jerk is generally untrustworthy, flaky, overly friendly and sneaky
#5 The Two Faced Jerk is nice and positive to you but complains about you to someone else, is fake a hypocrite, discredits others and often jealous
#6 The Political Jerk only focuses on their own personal agenda, is manipulative, conniving and understands the organizational dynamic and power plays
#7 The Kiss A** Jerk praises you ‘into the grave’ is driving personal agenda and more often than not doubtful about their own competence
#8 The Self Centered Jerk is defensive, egoistic with little or no regards for others, displays no empathy and is generally selfish
#9 The Look-Busy-Do-Nothing Jerk is a typical loafer, pretends to be all engrossed but never delivering anything, waste times and resources and doesn’t do anything
#10 The Fanatic Jerk is very judgmental, constantly shares and sometimes even forces his / her ‘out-of-the-center’ ideas on others.
#11 The Perfectionist Jerk can’t get his work done in time, is absorbed by details and is nitpicking your work, never satisfied and imposes his need for perfection on others
#12 The Credit Stealing Jerk always claims paternity for the results/ideas, brags, lies, take advantage of others and is needy for recognition
#13 The Feels Sorry For Himself Jerk is self deprecating, insecure and lacks confidence
#14 The Overachieving Jerk does more than is expected of them, making others look bad by doing so; even if others help them out they will find something else to make them look super busy
#15 The Victim Jerk always blames others for his inability to get work done, progress in his career or the situation that he is in.

#16 (The Jerk for No Reason) – Some jerks will have it out for you, and verbally attack you, and belittle you, and just be mean to you for absolutely no good reason. You’ve never done anything to these jerks (that you know of). You’ve always tried to steer clear of them, and you’ll always be baffled as to why they are so mean to you and not as much so to others.

These are the jerks that tend to have their own little posses; their goons, if you will. They are unending in their meanness to you, and they don’t try to hide it.

You’ll spend a lot of energy trying to figure out these kinds of jerks, but it won’t matter. Anything you try and do will just make it worse. They don’t like you. One day, for whatever reason, you found yourself in their crosshairs, and there’s not much you can do about it once you’re there.

#17 (The Goon) – For most Jerk #1s, there’s a Jerk #2. These jerks are followers, and they’ll be jerks to anyone they’re “told” to be jerks to.

#18 (The Jerk People Defend) – I also call this the Great White Shark jerk. Just like a great white shark, they’re “misunderstood.” They go around taking giant chomps out of people’s arms, and legs, and surfboards, and they don’t understand why people are so upset about it. Just as a shark was born a shark, they were born jerks. They’ve always been jerks. They’ll always be jerks. And the biggest challenge is that they just think that’s how life is.

#19 (The Internet Jerk) – The Internet is full of jerks. Meaning that, they’re never far away. In real life, you can maneuver most of your life around the jerks. But on the Internet, it’s not so easy to always do that.

#20 (The Jerk You’re Stuck With) – Sometimes, for whatever reason, most of us get stuck with a jerk in our lives. Sometimes it’s because it’s a relative. Sometimes it’s someone at work. Sometimes it’s a co-parent. Sometimes it’s a neighbor. And they make you want to kick them (or yourself) in the face. Constantly.

#21 The Hang-Arounder – When confronting the coworker who chronically lingers to chat when you are trying to make a deadline — a subtle jerk, but a jerk nonetheless — try standing up when they enter your office or cube. “The unspoken message of your body language will clearly tell him or her to keep it brief and head for the door,” says Ken Lloyd, author of Jerks at Work: How to Deal With People Problems and Problem People.

#22 The Idea Stealer – There is a strong possibility that this jerk can’t distinguish between a good idea and a bad one. “Somewhere along the way, slip in a really bad idea and let the jerk steal that,” Lloyd says. However, beware that this might only encourage the jerk to become worse.

#23 The Meeting Monopolizer – Get creative. “Try eliminating the chairs and making it a stand-up meeting,” Lloyd suggests. The monopolizer will likely get thrown off and won’t have time to settle into the usual routine of unproductive dominance.

#24 The Loud Phone-Talker – “Obviously the first step is to pull them aside quietly and ask them to lower their voice when using the phone,” says Julie Jansen, a career coach, consultant and trainer. “If this doesn’t stop them, you could dish out the same treatment and stand near their cube on your cellphone and talk loudly. Or you can hold up a sign that says, ‘Please turn volume down.'”

#26 The Tattle Tale Jerk – This type of jerk is generally untrustworthy, flaky, overly friendly and sneaky.

#27 The Two-Faced Jerk – This type of jerk is nice and positive to you but complains about you to someone else, is fake a hypocrite, discredits others and often jealous.

#28 The Rumor Spreading Office Jerk

#29 The Manipulator – This person ingratiates himself or herself to you then proceeds to use you for their own advantage. They’ll take credit for your work. Their compliments drip with insincerity. They get what they can out of you, then simply dump you.

#30 The Egocentric Jerk: This jerk is selfish, lacks self awareness and does whatever is necessary to advance himself in the workplace. He is easily offended, but lacks empathy for others.

#31 The Scapegoat Jerk: This person always blames someone else for his shortcomings and mistakes.

#32 The Fawning Jerk: This office jerk is also known as a kiss-up. He manipulates others with false flattery, but his compliments are rarely genuine.

#33  The Overexerting Jerk: Avoid this person on group projects. When all the work has been handed out, the overexerting jerk will purposely do tasks not assigned to him to make others in the group look like they’re slacking.

#34 The Thieving Jerk: This office jerk likes to be recognized for the success of others. Whether it’s an idea or a project, the thieving jerk will find some way to get credit for it, even if he had nothing to do with it.

#35 The Lazy Jerk: He always appears busy in the presence of superiors, meanwhile relying on the work of others. When management isn’t watching, this person sits around wasting time and resources.

#36 The Pity Party Jerk: This person lacks confidence in his abilities, but instead of working to improve them, he would rather spin his tale of woe.

#37  The Misogynist Jerk: Perhaps the rudest co-worker you may encounter, the misogynist office jerk is constantly saying and doing sexist things, often to the point of harassment.

#38 The Hypocritical Jerk: While outwardly nice and sincere, this jerk talks about others behind their backs, creating tension in the workplace.

#39  The Whistle-blower Jerk: This person would rather complain about you to management than first trying to work things out with you.

#40 The Arrogant Jerk: Rarely finding fault with himself, this jerk never owns up to any mistakes or shortcomings.

#41 The Overbearing Jerk: This person isn’t open to anyone’s ideas or opinions. He likes to scrutinize the work of others and explain how his is better.

#42 The Blame Game Jerk: The poor attitude of this jerk helps him find the negative in every situation and an excuse for anything that goes wrong.

#43 The Political Jerk: This office jerk has an agenda. Manipulative and aggressive, he will do whatever it takes to get what he wants.

#44 The Nit-picky Jerk: This person often misses deadlines because everything has to be perfect. His is also critical of the work of others.



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